Yesterday, Eric and I had a cookout to celebrate our retirement...you know, from being Singletons. In our definition: Marrieds that can still fly by the seat of their pants, due to no strings (kids) attached. Now that we've got the court date, we're starting to realize our days of spontaneity are coming to a slow. A bittersweet reason to celebrate, I suppose.
With our court date approaching, parenthood is starting to seem a little more like reality. Though honestly, it still feels a little unreal to me. Almost like a crazy dream. I find myself becoming more excited... but also more anxious and nervous! And people giving me looks of sympathy ("ohhhhhh....twins?") -- or telling me adoption horror stories of someone they know -- is not helping. As if this process is not stressful enough!
An acquaintance of mine—a mother of twins—came to the cookout yesterday, and was a Debbie Downer the whole time; warning me of the perils of being a mother of twins, and all the stresses and difficulties that go with it. (I tell you, I could not drink my beer fast enough!) It is this kind of negativity that I don't want right now. I am aware that this is probably the most difficult thing I may ever undertake. But I also expect it to be the most rewarding!
Then again, there have been many encouraging words during this time. Another acquaintance of mine who is also a mother of twins (it's crazy how many we know, really), had such positive things to say about her experience... without sugar coating anything. The thing was, she had an entirely different outlook on it and it made all the difference in how she feels about the work involved with raising two infants at once. It was refreshing. Talking with her made me realize that I can do it. I will rise to the occasion and do it as well as anyone I know. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!
Okay, I may have gotten a little carried away. But I do realize there will be days when I may have to give myself this pep talk in the mirror.
And so that I don't start to sound like a Debbie Downer myself, I must say that we have received an incredible amount of support from our family, friends and neighbors. I am overwhelmed at how kind and generous our community is. They have been our cheerleaders throughout this process, and I appreciate it more than words can express. It has brought to light how precious family and good friendships are! I cannot wait to bring M&M home so they can meet all the beautiful people that will help shape their lives.
Oh, and one last thing. I had another reality check yesterday. One of our neighbors brought her 2 month old daughter with her, and as I'm holding her, just in awe of how beautiful and tiny she is, and imagining that she must be MUCH smaller than our babies — her mother mentions that she weighs 13 pounds. Ok... 13 pounds. So, like, 5 more pounds than my babies?!? Holy crikees, my babies are itty-bitty teensy-weensy teeny-tiny babies, weighing in at just over 8 and 9 pounds each. At 3 months. Crazy.
That sort of put things in perspective. I may actually be able to carry these babies around in my pockets. Won't that be handy?
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4 comments:
Isn't it amazing how people can give such an "intimidating" outlook of parenting?! Twins CAN be daunting... but I personally think it's ALL about how you look at it. If you stress every time one of them cries, jump at their every peep, and so forth... it's going to make you crazy and exhausted. The 5th day we were home I had the epiphany that they are GOING TO CRY sometimes and it's ok. They aren't dying. And you know what?! That day I realized how NOT scary twins are. They are FUN! Plus, when one babies in a bad mood, usually the other one isn't, which helps you feel that ray of sunshine as you deal with the fussy one of the day/moment. YOU ARE GOING TO ROCK! We had downer friends too... parents of twins that couldn't make it seem more exhausting and challenging. Well, so far I couldn't disagree more with them.
Sorry to ramble... I'll email you! Can't wait for June 12th and the big news!
Holly, twins are great, Steve and I are hoping to adopt two infants at same time and are very excited. I have a cousin who has 3 sets of twins and a set of triplets. All within a 10 year period of time. She'll tell you that to have twins you need to keep your wits about you, your sense of humor, and don't take things too seriously. I'll never forget her comment when one of her one year olds took a mouthful of grass to eat... she said, "oh well, he'll poop it out later!!" So, don't sweat the small stuff, you'll be fine!!
i'll be the first to sew you a (stylish of course)canvas apron with two big pockets.
guaranteed within a month or two of good ol american formula they will be nice and chubby. you will be a great mom. twins just means no hogging over the one child. you and eric each get to hold/play with one, and then switch. nobody loses.
I am the mother of triplets and I can tell you that it has been the most rewarding (albeit exhausting) experience of my life! Raising multiples is an incredible experience and while it does have its difficult moments, it is twice the hugs, twice the kisses and twice the fun! You are going to do a fantastic job! It may be the most difficult thing you have ever done, but it will also be the most rewarding!
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